Safari for beginners: a day visit to Kruger Park with a guide.
Getting up at the crack of dawn isn’t usually my idea of fun – I prefer my adventures to start in broad daylight and after a cup of coffee. But waking up at 4:30 AM in the aptly named Bush Villas On Kruger, all I felt was excitement – okay, and maybe mild terror. After all, we were about to climb into an open vehicle and trust the guide’s breezy reassurance that “the animals wouldn’t attack as long as we kept our arms and legs inside the vehicle.” Comforting, because nothing says holiday relaxation like sitting a few feet away from a leopard and hoping it has been thoroughly briefed and knows to respect the rules.
Our guide, Clinton from Bushbaby Adventures, drove us to the Phalaborwa entrance of Kruger Park, where we picked up a young French couple. Clinton quickly dealt with the paperwork (there’s a LOT of paperwork) and went on to give us our safety briefing. Apart from “stay inside the vehicle” it came down to two things: don’t be complacent and don’t ever turn your back on anything. He then regaled us with the tales of other guides (who ought to have known better) who had become complacent and must have turned their backs on something as well, as one was dragged into a river by a crocodile and the other one was trampled by a hippo. This did not exactly inspire confidence.
After that cheerful little ” Don’t get eaten”-chat, it was time to head into the park. The very first thing we saw was a sunrise straight out of the Lion King. A sunrise worthy of its own soundtrack. The only thing stopping me (and I suspect everyone else) from breaking into the Rafiki-song and hoisting a stuffed lion in the air was the presence of three total strangers.
And then: an elephant. A real, wild, ” I own this place” elephant. With her baby. Sure, I’ve seen elephants before, in zoos, and yes, I’m old enough to remember when they wore silly hats in the circus. But this was something else entirely. Here, they aren’t confined or performing. They just exist – massive and magnificent. It was awe-inspiring – and it was the start of a day that kept getting better.
From there, the day just kept delivering: giraffes gliding by gracefully, hippos lurking in rivers like oversized pool floats, zebras and more elephants, impalas and other jumpy beasts, a herd of scary-looking buffalos, more birds than I even knew existed and -gasp – a leopard cub. Throw in the wonderful breakfast and lunch Clinton prepared for us and all the information he gave us about the park and the animals, and it felt like the day was over before it had even started.
Now, let me tell you about what is perhaps the best part of safari life – how surprisingly easy it all is, physically. You’re not hiking across the savannah or chasing lions on foot (or vice versa, which in most cases and definitely in mine is a good thing) – you’re sitting comfortably in an open vehicle (arms and legs firmly inside, obviously) while the animals do all the moving. It’s the laziest thrilling adventure you’ll ever have.
Sure, there’s a bit of bouncing over the dirt tracks, but it’s more easy massage chair than Camel Trophy. All you have to do is sit back, take photos and try not to gasp too loudly when something big and toothy stares at you from the foliage. There’s the “will my bladder make it to the next rest camp”-worry but generally, there are enough stops so you can use a bathroom instead of having to squat in the bushes, surrounded by apex predators. Just tell the guide. It can get hot (Clinton brought a water supply to last week in the desert, but if you’re not sure, bring your own), it can get cold (most tour companies and guides bring blankets and hot water bottles) and it will get dusty. Wear sunglasses and a hat and bring sunscreen and you will be fine.
There is some physical activity involved: climbing in and out of the safari truck, which is doable for everyone who has normal use of their legs. Just consider it your morning workout.
The pace is slow, the drives are broken up with coffee stops and if your idea of fun is adventure without exhaustion, a safari ticks every box.
So to answer the question: yes, I can absolutely still go on safari and so can you. You don’t need to be superfit, fearless or even fully awake. All you need is curiosity and the ability to say “wow” every ten seconds. Just climb aboard that truck, don’t let the guide’s cautionary tales freak you out and let Africa do the rest.
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